Welcome to Jafira Lair-Digital Journal and Dragon Resource
   
Main Menu
  • Home
  • Catagories and Content
  • Downloads
  • Draconity FAQ
  • Dracopedia
  • Dragon Gallery
  • Dragon Links
  • Dragon Media
  • Feedback
  •  
    Dragon Landmarks
     
    Discord Chat

     
    Dragon Wiki

     
    Dragon Resources
    · Names of Dragons
    · Dracopedia List A-Z
    · Jafira's Draconity Guide
    · Basic Dragon Info.
    · Contact Jafira
     
    Social Media

     
    Spiritual Resources

     
    Jafira Lair-Digital Journal and Dragon Resource: Catagories and Content

    Jafira's Lair :: View topic - To all the wonderful people looking for me

     
     Forum FAQForum FAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups     RegisterRegister 
     ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

    To all the wonderful people looking for me

     
    Post new topic   Reply to topic    Jafira's Lair Forum Index -> Jafira's Ramblings..
    View previous topic :: View next topic  
    Author Message
    Jafira
    Reclusive Lizard


    Joined: Jul 22, 2012
    Posts: 185
    Location: Arizona

    PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2017 8:29 pm    Post subject: To all the wonderful people looking for me Reply with quote

    I've been getting countless greetings and kind hello's from strangers and old friends alike. Thank you, thank you all, you're all so kind, I love you all, to past friends and acquaintances I miss you more then you know.

    I am aware of your messages, I care, I want so badly to respond, to run over to each of you and wrap my wings around you all in a huge draconic hug, you have no idea how much I long for your friendships!

    Sadly.

    This is what happens....

    *Wakes up* "Today is going to be amazing, I'm signing both my phone and computers into all my messengers, I'm going to have a presence, be at my best and change a life today" ^,=,^ *signs into all messengers - goes to work / begins day*

    (15 min later)

    "Kind Dragon'y Stranger has sent a friend request"

    Mind: "Squee! A new friend! Smile"

    Old Friend: "Rawr"

    Mind: "It's my old friend!" Twisted Evil

    Insane Irrational Phobia: "Fight or flight!!! Surprised Run! Run now! Fly away! Hide! Pretend you didn't see it! Mute the apps! Run! Run now or you're gonna die!!"

    Mind: "But this is what I wanted?! Confused I want to help others, to be a friend, change a life and be there to listen and learn with others!"

    Insane Irrational Phobia: *Puts bodies heart in a vice* If you don't run right now I'll make this thing explode!! Shocked You are in danger! You need to think of / do something else this instant!! I won't let you proceed any further!!"

    Mind: "But.. they're friendly and benign, this is exciting! Embarassed What we always wanted? We need to make friends, help them, hear them out and grow with them, it's how we improve as individuals!"

    Insane Irrational Phobia: *Stabs at heart deathly tight* "NO! Mad Focus. On. Your. Task. Ignore them, RUN!"

    Mind: "But...but why...?." Crying or Very sad

    Insane Irrational Phobia: "You are safe in your solitude."

    Mind: "Lies... it's only stagnation we must progress to grow.."

    Insane Irrational Phobia: "Distract your thoughts and sleep, you cannot defeat me." Mad

    Mind: "Someday I will.." Evil or Very Mad

    It is so hard for me to respond to loving kindness such as all your greetings and attempts at friendship. I fight hard but I falter sometimes. When the messages pile up, for days, weeks, months, I feel terrible that I've abandoned such friendly attempts to be a part of my world.

    I feel guilt and it makes it so much harder. But eventually that guilt turns to a righteous rage and I fight through the fear to respond. Still, I'm sorry for all the silence. You all mean a lot to me, you really do.

    It's stupid, I only have this happen online. Were we all to meet in the same building in RL we'd party, I'd buy us all a feast, kick on some tunes and we'd party till dawn^^ But my psychology is backwards and flawed, If I can't see you, hear you, buy you a drink, interact in person, my brain will panic and crash into irrational fear. It makes no sense, but such is my mind, I'll do my best to fight, but please, forgive the delays and silence, I really do care..
    _________________
    Jafira ~ The Tycosian Dragon Visit The Forum
    Back to top
    View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
    Display posts from previous:   
    Post new topic   Reply to topic    Jafira's Lair Forum Index -> Jafira's Ramblings.. All times are GMT + 10 Hours
    Page 1 of 1

    Jump to:  

    You cannot post new topics in this forum
    You cannot reply to topics in this forum
    You cannot edit your posts in this forum
    You cannot delete your posts in this forum
    You cannot vote in polls in this forum


    Chronicles phpBB2 theme by Jakob Persson (http://www.eddingschronicles.com).
    Powered by phpBB © 2001 phpBB Group
    All times are GMT + 10 Hours
    Stone textures by Patty Herford
    Ported for PHP-Nuke by nukemods.com


    All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2012 by Jafira.
    You can syndicate our news using the file backend.php or ultramode.txt


     illuminat draco spiritus sapientiae

    PHP-Nuke Copyright © 2005 by Francisco Burzi. This is free software, and you may redistribute it under the GPL. PHP-Nuke comes with absolutely no warranty, for details, see the license.
    Page Generation: 0.05 Seconds

    :: Chronicles phpbb2 style by Jakob Persson :: PHP-Nuke theme by www.nukemods.com ::