Jafira's Draconity / Awakening


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Jafira's Draconity / Awakening:

On line I am known as Jafira dragon, however I consider my true draconic name to be Korageth. I perceive myself to be a dragon in mind and soul. I first suspected my draconity when I was quite young, perhaps between the ages of six and ten. As I grew older I tried desperately to suppress such beliefs as they were not socially accepted.

For many years my belief would come and go until I first gained access to the Internet. Upon discovering a web site known as Altfandra more then a decade ago, I learned that I was not alone. That moment in time changed my life forever, no longer did I have a reason to suppress such thoughts, no longer was I the only one with such bizarre perceptions.

Keeping in mind that I had suppressed my draconity for most of my teen years, I am ashamed to say that when I first discovered that I was not alone in my beliefs, I immediately begun an attempt to "dig up" all that I had previously suppressed. In my rush during that time period I fell into the trap of filling gaps with fantasy, foolishly filling in the gaps with a fictional reality.

As a result I later hit several walls and had to start from scratch. The experience was difficult but allowed me to grow. From my experiences I can state that growing up I had one distinct segment of my conscious mind, or thoughts which I had associated as a dragon, later in life that aspect of my mind or spirit dissociated and segmented into three distinct dragon persona's.

I got into a lot of fluff trying to comprehend how three dragon "spirits" could end up occupying one physical form without conflict and as mentioned foolishly filled the gaps of my evolving belief system with fantasy. It took me a long time afterwards to figure myself out and it was not fun, as a result I still do not have all the answers that I seek.

Primarily however, I believe myself to have been a dark or black scaled western style dragon in a past life, nomadic in nature, last residing in a wilderness region consisting of mountains, plains, and a lake, as well I have a vision of having met my end to life by having been slain outside of a ruined building alongside a humanoid canine companion. The name of this dragon which I believe myself to have been in a past existence was "Korageth".

I base these beliefs off of numerous recurring dreams, visions, meditations, emotions, and just an inner knowing. The fictional story "Tycosian Dreams" as well as my other literary works, were based (loosely) off of these perceived memories and were meant to tell a grandiose and exaggerated history of my prior existence. The fantasy intertwined within these stories caused me a lot of conflict later as at the time I felt it all to be fact with insufficient evidence to back any of it up. (I later went back and made Tycosian Dreams V2, a more spiritually accurate account in 2010)

The two other draconic persona's which came into my life during my teen years, appeared between 1999 - 2000. The two new "dragons" appeared to me as sentient thoughts and personalities within my mind, yet separate from my own. They had distinct names appearances, and personalities, but no history. I strongly believe that they were fragmented memories of other dragons met in Korageth's life given false consciousness through my energy and beliefs, (dissociated consciousness, alternative personalities.).

Of these two additional draconic aspects, the first appeared as a young green dragon named Jafira with a playful and curious disposition, the other was an elderly western dragon of a yellowish coloration, his name was Veltra and he tended to be very analytical. The two additional "spirits" interacted with me and helped me to achieve some great accomplishments in my teen years. However at the time, I knew little for certain of their purpose or origin. They just appeared one day. For the most part however their presence was always secondary to myself and my dragon identity Korageth.

Because I appeared to have multiple dragon persona's rather then the common single draconic aspect found among others in the dragonkin online community I was often weary of discussing my draconity. I often feared that others may have assumed that I was posing, role-playing, confused or simply insane and I honestly allowed those fears to hold me back a lot, I am sad to say.

As a result, I went into a terrible, and shameful phase of pursuing the truth of my spirituality alone, naive, arrogant, and assumptive of false truths within my spiritual awakening, I became immensely involved in my own brand of theoretical metaphysics, in which I pursued a series of foolish experiments in regards to transformation, or dimensional travel, nothing occurred of course other then knocking myself back to maturity, as obviously the laws of physics and reality do not allow for such, but I did grow and mature out of that irrational phase over time.

Around the period of 2007, Jafira and Veltra slowly became less present within my being, my draconic identity Korageth begin to become more dominant, and it appeared that the other two somewhat merged into Kora's consciousness, their aspects and thoughts melding into his and my own, combining into a single entity becoming less segmented and fractured, and more whole and focused. It seems that the two additional dragon "spirits" had ceased to exist in any recognizable form, and I am now, as I was before their arrival. A dragon pretending to be human, or vice versa, in either case, one believing himself to have lived as a dragon in a prior existence.

In mid October of the year 2008, I underwent an intense series of meditation sessions, In which I confirmed that Veltra, and Jafira, were indeed simply manifestations of my own consciousness and not separate entities or even past existence's, in as such I came to a much greater understanding of my perceived past as the dragon Korageth and was relieved to have some answers which I had desired, it has since brought a great stability to my life and a better understanding of myself. However, during that particular trance state of meditation, I discovered possible evidence for yet another, later draconic existence beyond that as the black dragon Korageth.

This possible, second dragon incarnation was and remains a bit controversial at least as far as I am concerned, as it was perceived to have been a female dragon. Throughout the trance state, my supposed higher self released further imagery and possibilities into my awakening and afterwards I was distressed to consider such an idea due to the possible social implications, as well, although I do not doubt the abilities of my soul, I do distrust my personal psychology.

In any case it must be remembered that the spirit and consciousness is genderless, ones physical form is simply a shell or machine for the soul to use, the spirit itself is androgynous and can be anything. I eventually got over it and came to terms with the possibility.

However I cannot presently confirm or deny anything concerning this second perceived incarnation, as I am still meditating and looking into the evidence. I for now have named the possible incarnation "Rashau" and pushed the idea aside . It may come to pass that this "second awakening" was simply a powerful manifestation of my anima, and that it may be found to have simply been a psychological misinterpretation, rather then a truly spiritual event, I do not presently know enough on the matter, and at this present point, the understanding of my perceived incarnation as the dragon Korageth, and the related spirituality and rational behind him is enough for my focus.

In regards to activity on the Internet, I did know that the dragonkin community was open, but I had always had a certain shyness or fear of being judged. One weakness which I still fight to overcome. Although I do often fear that others may not take me seriously I know personally that I am only being what I am, I had fought for years to run from these aspects of myself and failed miserably, I can not change what I am inside, even if I wanted to.

I can only be myself, and I am a dragon in mind and spirit. It was only in the realization and acceptance of the fact that I was a dragon in spirit and in mind that I was able to achieve the peace and balance that I was missing from my life. It was as if a missing piece to the puzzle of who I was had been found and things finally begun to make sense.

My Draconity has been a psychologically detrimental, spiritually hectic and overall long and stressful journey, but it is a part of who I am, and as a result I know myself better and have become a stronger person. I have also learned that draconity is not for everyone, it is not simply a game, or mask you wear, it is a state of inner being, you cannot simply choose to be an otherkin, you either are or you are not, and the experiences that one will face through draconity are a mixed blessing at best with positives and negatives, but in the end ones reward is the knowing of ones true inner spirit.



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